


Always and Forever

by Strawberrywaltz



Category: Dark Matter (TV)
Genre: A Dash of Gore, Angst, Betrayal, Brainwashing, Canon-Typical Violence, Drama, Drinking, Drug Use, Fluff, M/M, Minor Character Death, Misunderstandings, Murder, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Season 2 Trailer, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Torture, Work In Progress, i'm freaking out, mentions of torture, no real spoilers, this happened
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-06-08 06:38:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6843265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strawberrywaltz/pseuds/Strawberrywaltz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“There is nothing left to save.” One told her and fired his gun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Always and Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Um, so I really shouldn't have tortured myself by watching the trailer for season 2, but I did. I won't go into details because I'm sure there are some people who haven't seen it (Are you crazy? Go watch it now!), but I'm excited. And scared. And excited. (AND SCARED) 
> 
> This hit me after the fourth time watching it. 
> 
> Again, no actual spoilers, just my brain running wild. 
> 
> Also, this was not beta'd
> 
> Here is the link to the video and the breakdown: 
> 
> https://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/2016/05/13/may-13-2016-dark-matter-season-2-trailer-an-analysis/

They thought he had been the lucky one. Five had told them he had been kept with her for a little while. She had assumed he had been dropped off like she had been. They chose to believe he was free. That he didn’t want to be found.

They were wrong.

__

One didn’t waste much time believing he’d be rescued. Maybe the first week the thought had crossed his mind, but that sliver of hope had been quickly snuffed out. He had known he was alone from the very beginning, which probably made the job of his Master appallingly easy.

The tattered remains of his soul were chipped away during Orientation. The already shattered pieces of himself were turned into dust. Once One was gone his Master took care and rebuilt him piece by piece.

Only the cold hatred for the Raza crew kept One grounded. They had been his family and they had left him behind to be reborn as a monster. The idea that one day he’d be able to get revenge kept him from eating a bullet or making a noose out of his bed’s sheets. All the other emotions – empathy, kindness, hope, loss, despair – slipped away, swallowed by darkness.

He was empty without his anger.

“Enter.” His Master called from beyond the doorway.

One walked into the cold cell and briefly eyed the stranger bound and kneeling in the center. He did not know the man, nor did he care for the stranger’s predicament. The man was nothing to him. Nothing but what his Master wanted him to be. They were all puppets attached to his Master’s invisible strings. It hadn’t taken long for his Master to convince him that it was better to exist that way. Life was far easier when One started to allow someone else to guide him and make choices on his behalf.

“There is one last thing I must ask you to do for me, my child.” His Master said as he reached out his hand and rested it on One’s shoulder. One was no longer called One or Derrick Moss, he’d been given another identification. Another number, longer then the last. His master, however, called him ‘child.’ One found it acceptable. Not endearing, or meaningful. It wasn’t even something One enjoyed being called, but his Master wanted to call One ‘child,’ so One let him.

“Once you have completed this last trial you will be one of us. A true brother among all of my children.” His Master continued. Not many of his Master’s chosen made it as far as One had. Most were terminated or died early on – One had seen it. They all had. Each execution was made publicly in the gardens. Attendance was mandatory. Vaguely One remembered a time in which the careless loss of life had bothered him. Life had become so much easier when he’d stopped caring. One had stopped feeling death. Death was weakness – nothing more.

The pride in his Master’s voice made One believe that he would succeed in his last trial. It wasn’t just that he would succeed – he had to succeed. There were no other options. His Master had made a request and One would do everything within his power to see that it was fulfilled.

“Anything, Master.” One spoke in his typical monotone way. His face, as usual, remained blank except for the glint of ever-present anger unmasked in his dark eyes.

“I want you to take this syringe and inject yourself.” The older man said as he motioned his free hand to the tray located in the corner of the room. Laid out beside the syringe were some of his master’s favorite toys. One glanced ever so briefly at the stranger and noted how the toys had tormented the man’s body – now beaten and broken. One remembered when he was the stranger in the middle of the room – he chose to forget.

Without hesitation One stepped forward and picked up the syringe filled with an unknown substance and stabbed the needle into the crook of his elbow.

As he pushed the plunger and felt the burn enter his bloodstream his Master explained. “This is a fast acting hallucinogen drug. It will make you see things you once cared about, the one person holding you back. Someone you must forever leave behind. This is your chance to let go, my child.” One turned back to his Master and accepted the challenge he had no choice but to take. Already his world had started to change. The room was bleeding – like it was being stripped away, revealing the metal halls of the Raza.

“This is a test.” One stated. He knew it was true. One needed to pass – to fail was to die. One still had his anger to live for.

“Yes.” His master nodded once and looked towards the door. “I will see you once you have finished.”

“Yes Master.” One agreed and watched the man disappear to the hallway wall. The stranger on the floor whimpered and One glanced down at him – no, not him, her. Two. She looked up at him, not bound but on her hands and knees. He drew his gun reflectively and flicked off the safety as he stared down at her.

“What are you doing?” Two asked, out of breath. Blood dripped from the corner of her mouth and a cut just bellow her hairline. She still looked beautiful – even after she betrayed him.

“At first I thought you would come for me.” One told her coldly as he leveled his gun between her pretty eyes. She looked betrayed as she looked up at him in shock. Ironic, given that she had been about to kill him the last time they had stood together in the hallway on the Raza. “I thought that you all would appear one day and save me.”

“One – we didn’t know.” Two pleaded.

“It didn’t take me long to realize,” One narrowed his eyes down at her and let his true anger show.

“Realize?” Two asked.

“There is nothing left to save.” One told her and fired his gun.

The world started to change back. The Raza broke away and was replaced by the cell he’d stood in before. At his feet lay the stranger. What remained of the man’s head lay haloed by a splash of red blood, fragments of bone and brain-matter. One didn’t flinch at the gruesome sight. His stomach didn’t turn. He’d seen worse. He’d done worse. For a moment he pictured Two lying there instead of the nameless man and knew, deep down, that he had failed his Master’s test.

If he had been stronger, if he had been ready, it wouldn’t have been Two in his hallucination – it would have been Three.

Even in his hate filled, barely beating, blacked heart, One couldn’t bring himself to kill the only person that could potentially change everything. The one person he could never let go of – even after being betrayed. It was the lie he kept from himself and from his Master.

One couldn’t let go. Not when it came to Three.

“You did well, my child.” His Master appeared at his shoulder as One holstered his gun. The action was smooth and hid the slight tremble in his hand.

“Thank you, Master.” One turned to the man and met his gaze. “I pledge myself to you. Forever. For always.”

His Master reached out and cupped One’s face with his steady, soothing hands. “I accept your allegiance, my child. Forever. For always – you belong to me.”

Somewhere hidden deep within One’s decaying heart, a fragment of his soul whispered, ‘ _Forever, until Three_.’


	2. Still Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a year since they escaped from Hyperion 8. A year of trying to tell himself that he didn't care where One was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I wrote this when I had a fever...which probably wasn't the best time to write. I've spent some time tweaking it and I think it's finally where I want it to be. 
> 
> No Beta. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Still Life

Nothing had been the same after they’d broken out of Hyperion 8.

Broken out. _Broken_. That word perfectly summed up everything.

Though they had managed to steal back their freedom they were left incomplete. Only Two through Six had scraped together and managed to survive. One was gone. They didn’t know where.

Six was with them only because the bastard had a last minute change of heart. Apparently the idea of having the Raza crew behind bars and the reality of it didn’t have the same pleasant tingles the big guy had expected. That and they had been blamed for something they had nothing to do with. Six had been mildly useful during the escape, but no one dared to trust him. Two and Four were wary. Three sure as hell didn’t trust him. Five had bitch-slapped Six across the face – an image Three was determined to treasure for the rest of his sorry existence.

None of the crew knew how to continue as they had before everything had fallen apart. One wasn’t there to offer up his ideas – not that Three ever was inclined to agree with the sap. Three couldn’t help but wonder what One would have suggested. Maybe One would have wanted Six to be put on some sort of probation. Maybe One would have asked for Six to be dropped off at the nearest station and forgotten all together. It was hard to tell. Three figured if One felt hurt enough to hide from them that the anger the younger man was feeling might override his non-threatening tendencies. Maybe pretty-boy would have asked for the honor of shooting Six in the face.

There was no telling what would have happened, because it didn’t. One was gone. Nothing was going to change that. Three had accepted the facts and was ready to move on.

In the end Six had agreed to go through another memory wipe. He erased himself and rejoined the crew in an attempt to start over.

If only the rest of them could forget Six’s betrayal so easily.

Two and Five had come up with some sort of story to tell Six once he woke up a blank slate. They explained pretty much everything, but kept out the juicy bits about Six betraying them all.

There was some story about Six being injured and blah-blah-blah, Three hadn’t paid much attention. It was for Six’s protection as well as the rest of the Raza crew. Four had suggested Three learn the story in case Six asked him, but Three had made it very clear he had no intention of chatting with the asshole any time soon.

Or ever. Never would be just fine.

More amnesia hadn’t exactly fixed things. Having to explain every little detail to Six without giving away the truth was annoying. Not that Three ever offered the bastard any help. Three happily left Six in the somewhat capable hands of the others. Three still secretly wished that Six would meet a timely end on one of the Raza’s missions. So far Three’s luck had sucked and Six’s resilience had become obnoxiously sound.

Six wisely kept his distance from Three. Three was pretty sure no one told Six why he hated him, but it didn’t really matter. Nothing mattered.

If it had been up to Three they would have spaced Six as soon as they were in the clear. Three had been outvoted.

It hurt, but it wasn’t abnormal. Still, Six was a constant reminder of everything going to crap. They were stuck with ghosts walking the halls. The haunting memory of the person the Six had been. Three longed for the one person he couldn’t have – the one person who vanished from his life. Forever. Three was stuck with One’s ghost as well. Some memories didn’t know when to die.

It was fine, though. Three had been through hell before – this was nothing. At least, Three kept telling himself it was nothing. He hoped one day he’d actually believe his own lie. So far he had been fighting a losing battle. It was annoying.

Five had seen One before they were separated back in space prison. She was convinced that he’d been dropped off somewhere like she had been. They’d looked, at first, but there had been no trace of One or Derrick Moss. Two was convinced One didn’t want to be found. The others eventually agreed. They’d stopped looking.

Which was fine.

It made sense, really. The last time they had been together paranoia and accusations had torn them apart. Three’s stomach twisted when he thought of how hard he fought to turn the others against One. He had been completely convinced that the guy who didn’t fit in couldn’t have been part of their crew. It had made the most sense, at the time, that One had been the betrayer.

But it was all good.

Three had been wrong. It was over. Three tried to tell himself that it was over. In the past – finished. It couldn’t be fixed because Three didn’t deserve to feel good about it. He’d pushed One away and One had left. One wasn’t going to come back.

It was for the best.

New people joined their little team, but nothing felt quite right. Three tried to do what Three did best – he ignored the hollow ache in his chest whenever he walked by One’s room or stared across the table in the mess hall at someone else sitting in One’s chair.

The newbies didn’t get it. They hadn’t known the old Three, but the original crew saw the differences.

“I miss you.” Five said as they flew the Marauder from the Raza to an abandoned station for their latest mission. The job they had taken was easy enough. Get in, get whatever, get out. The day, however, made it special – or rather, the next day made it special. It would be the anniversary of the Hyperion 8 breakout. They were going to celebrate a year of freedom when the job was finished. They were. Three had other plans.

They could have their party, complete with a protein cake Android had concocted. Three was looking forward to the bottle of whiskey he had stored away back in his room.

He’d drink it. Alone. And that was fine.

Three glared back at Five and caught a glance of Two looking at him over her shoulder before she turned away. The rest of the crew were eavesdropping. It was obvious. It also didn’t matter.

“I’m sitting across from you.” Three huffed. There was nothing to miss.

Five gave him her saddest look, with her eyebrows all scrunched together and her lips pulled back in a pained frown. “But you aren’t like you were before.”

“It’s never going to be like it was before.” Three shot back unkindly. Five looked devastated and Four’s glare told Three that he would be in trouble later. “Sorry, but I’m too much of an asshole to apologize.” What would have been a scathing comment fell flat off his tongue. Not enough heart or effort put behind it. Five looked disappointed. Even Four’s murderous look faded a bit.

Three told himself it didn’t matter. Everything was right as rain. Rain seemed fitting, given the storm brewing in Three’s boarded up heart.

Three ignored everyone after that. He didn’t want to argue. It wasn’t fun anymore. Three knew exactly what Five was talking about. A year ago he would have been excited to be heading out on a mission. He would have been thrilled with the prospect of getting off the Raza and stirring up some trouble. Back during the good old days Three would have brought his biggest guns and fiddle with them throughout the short flight. He would have made off handed comments about killing people or rats. But without One getting all riled up, it wasn’t the same. It would never be the same.

Maybe he should start making more of an effort – if only to get the kid off his back.

Because everything was fine. It had to be fine.

__

After the job was completed and the day of the anniversary dawned, Three retired to his room. He stood outside his door in the hallway and remembered that first day after the initial memory wipe. He pictured One standing in front of his door looking so incredibly uncertain as Three stalked up to him. Three remembered what it felt like to invade the other man’s personal space. He remembered breathing in as One exhaled and craving more.

Three should have kissed the idiot right then and there. Instead Three had tried to be intimidating. He’d tried to show off. When that didn’t work he thought blackmailing One would be impressive. It wasn’t. He’d screwed it all up.

Regret broke him out of his revere and Three pushed into his room. The space was empty and lonely as he walked to his drawer and pulled out the bottle he’d been looking forward to.

With a twist of the cap Three took a generous sip of the liquid inside. It did nothing to dull the pain he was feeling. He glanced at the time and noted it was well past midnight. It was the day they escaped prison – without One. It was the day everything changed. One year ago.

In an effort to make the pain go away, Three finished off the bottle. He slid down the wall and stared at the bed and wondered where One was. He let his mind wander. He pictured a good life for his – for One. One wasn’t his. One hadn’t ever been his because Three had been a self-absorbed asshole. He’d been paranoid. He’d seen something out of place and wanted it gone.

It was only after One had left a void in Three’s heart that Three realized what he had missed out on. All of their banter. All of their damned chemistry and Three had ruined everything. He’d give anything to take it all back.

A knock on the door and Three glanced blurrily as Four walked into his room.

“If you’re here to beat the crap out of me for being mean to your girlfriend, you’re going to have to do it while I’m down here.” Three slurred as he tossed his empty bottle across the room and watched it tumble out of sight.

Four raised an eyebrow, but his lips stayed shut as he took in Three’s sorry state. When he did speak Three wished he hadn’t heard. “You aren’t going to move on until you talk to him.”

There was no need to clarify who Four was talking about.

“How exactly do you expect me to do that?” Three asked sharply. He craved another bottle, but didn’t think he could stand long enough to hunt one down.

“Find him.” Four told him. “Five and I will help you.”

Three felt a spark of hope ignite in his tattered heart. He looked up and nearly passed out when the room started to spin. “You’d do that?” He asked when the world righted itself.

“Of course.” Four uncrossed his arms. “We miss him too.”

“Do you think he’d come back?” Three asked, unable to look up at his crewmate. “After all this time?”

Four shrugged. “Won’t know unless we find him and ask.”

“If we find him,” Three looked up at Four. “I’m dragging his ass back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until next time!


	3. Fear (For Our Lives)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe he was a monster. It didn’t matter. He’d be whatever his Master wanted him to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! 
> 
> Quick warning: There is mention of Rape/Non Con in this chapter. It is not detailed at all, but if that is a trigger for you please skip this chapter. Also there is some violence and death...so beware!

At the barracks everyone was required to wear the same grey uniform. No alterations were allowed. Even their hair was cut in the same style – short and neat. It didn’t matter if they were male or female. Everyone was on equal ground. Everyone was the same. All were brothers and sisters under the watchful eye of their Master. 

When his Master handed One a bundle of street clothes he took them without hesitation. He knew what the clothes meant. One changed without modesty and silently read about the person he was being sent to kill. One tended to skim over the personal details. He stuck to the information that was necessary for the kill. 

With the slightest frown One hesitated as he finished reading. Something in the file struck him as odd. 

“Master,” One looked at his Master carefully. He, like all of his brothers and sisters, did not want to be too curious. Curiosity and unfaithfulness were too closely related. His Master did not make mistakes. “The file does not name my handler.” One had never left the compound unaccompanied. It was very rare for any of the brothers and sisters to leave without backup. It was for their safety. 

“That is because you will not need a handler for this mission.” His Master told him with kind understanding. He’d been expecting the question, One realized. “You have done exceedingly well, my child. I feel I can trust you.” 

“Thank you, Master.” One acknowledged. 

His Master nodded and handed One another package. “This is everything you will need. Understand that there is a set time frame. You must return within three days.” 

“I understand.” One nodded sharply. “I will not let you down.” 

“I know, my child.” His Master reached out a hand and patted One’s cheek before leaving the room. 

One considered himself for a moment. He knew he should feel nervous. He should feel excited, pride, fear – anything, but he felt nothing. Not at first.  
__

With a new wallet equipped with a new ID, One ventured back out into the universe. Alone. The further he got from the compound and his Master the more emotions tried to slide through the tiny cracks in the wall that surrounded his heart. He felt the smallest warmth of pride as he boarded the train heading to the city where his target lived. 

It was subtle. The change barely noticeable in the calm sea of indifference that resided within One. In the presence of his Master or one of his handlers it was easy to give in to the influence, to let someone else control him – to let them take the lead. 

He’d forgotten what it felt like to be by himself. Sure he was still tied to his Master. He wasn’t foolish enough to think that he had any semblance of freedom. Nor did he want freedom. Freedom was far more terrifying than the idea of staying with and submitting to his Master. One was grateful that he didn’t have to make any decisions. He was simply a tool – an extension of his Master’s will. It was better that way. Simpler. 

One had a job to do. He had a target to eliminate. Still, the idea that his Master trusted him stirred emotions locked deep within him. One had never heard of any of his brothers or sisters being sent on a solo mission before their fifth year. Even then it was exceedingly rare. One was barely stepping into his second year. It was an honor. 

With the warmth of pride came another distant and familiar feeling – icy guilt. One had become such a hardened killer, such a willing minion, that his Master trusted him to kill without hesitation or distraction. A voice trapped where his heart was hidden whispered accusations of how easily he’d become a monster. Maybe he was a monster. It didn’t matter. He’d be whatever his Master wanted him to be. 

Escape hadn’t crossed One’s mind. There was no where to go. He had found his place with his Master. He belonged there among his brothers and sisters. His Master would never abandon him like – others had. 

One found his seat on the train and frowned when he realized something new. The coziness of pride and chill of guilt vanished simultaneously only to be replaced by another emotion. Betrayal. It felt like a knife in his gut. Painful. Agonizing as it twisted inside of him. 

One’s face had remained blank even as the feelings bloomed inside his heart and mind. He chose to believe in his Master. He had to be mistaken. One didn’t look towards his shadow. He didn’t tense his shoulders or casually keep an eye on reflective surfaces. 

He didn’t need to. 

It wasn’t until One’s shadow followed him off of the train and to his designated safe house that he accepted the lie. One vanished from the street, using a small diversion to slip away. Sticking to the dark corners One made his way behind the shadow and attacked. 

His opponent was smaller and the better fighter, but One had learned plenty of tricks during his training. When he pinned her, he stared down at her without expression. “He said he trusted me.” 

“He does.” F1-970 said. “This is the final test.” 

“Your tailing skills leave something to be desired.” One said evenly and let her up. Suspicion had spread like a disease inside One’s mind. “Unless you wanted me to spot you.” 

“You didn’t appear to be paying attention.” She shrugged and brushed the dirt off of her street clothes. 

“It’s called being covert.” One fought a frown. To show emotion was to show weakness. “You should try it.” 

“Saucy.” F1-970 smirked. One let his face stay blank. Master preferred no emotion at all. He’d never seen F1-970 this open before. One figured it had to be part of the test. He couldn’t be revealing. He couldn’t let himself fall into old habits. One had left that version of himself on the Raza. It was as dead as the past. 

F1-970 smiled cruelly. “You are truly perfect, aren’t you? Exactly what he wants in a follower.” 

“This conversation is irrelevant.” One told her and squared his shoulders. “I am an extension of my Master’s will.” 

“Wow, you are so – flawless.” F1-970 shook her head. “Complete your mission. You won’t even know I’m here. When you finished you will have more freedom than most.” 

One frowned. “What will happen if I tell him I spotted you?” 

“I will destroy you.” F1-970 said simply. All hints of casualness were gone. F-970’s eyes were dead with seriousness. “We can both win. Keep your mouth shut.” 

One watched as she walked away with a swish in her hips. She was confident. Beautiful. Dangerous. One couldn’t keep his mouth shut. The very idea went against everything that was drilled into him during Orientation. Her threat terrified him. He’d seen what his Master did to those who proved untrustworthy. F1-970 had been with their Master longer. The trust between the two of them had to be deeper. 

One pushed the worries aside. For now he had a mission to complete.  
__

The target had not been much of a challenge. One’s Master had asked for a specific method of termination, which had made things a bit more interesting. Suffocation was tricky. It took a moment for One to pin the frantic man down and another to wrap plastic around his face enough times that even when the man struggled he wouldn’t be able to free himself. 

One waited patiently until he body stopped twitching. He reached out and pressed two fingers against the stranger’s neck and noted the lack of pulse. The target was dead. One’s mission was complete. 

Efficiently One cleaned up the scene and left it as his Master had directed. One took a last look around before he climbed out the window and joined F1-970 on the roof. 

“Nice work with the plastic.” She said. “It can be a bitch.”

One kept silent and the two of them headed back to the safe house. F1-970 liked to get under people’s skin. She reminded One of Three in that way. It’s probably why F1-970 made him so uncomfortable. 

Once back at the room she turned on One, like a cat pouncing on her prey. Her hands wrapped themselves in the material of his shirt as she backed him roughly into a wall. “Let’s have some fun.” F1-970 cooed, her arms snaked up and around the back of One’s neck. “We have time to kill before the train leaves.” 

Uncomfortable, One stared down at her and didn’t move. Didn’t speak. He wasn’t sure if he had a choice in what happened. It had been so long since One had decided anything that he froze in fear at the thought of thinking things through. One was terrified of choosing wrong. He had options. Something distant in his mind told him all he needed to do was think of something. Instead of finding solutions One’s mind came up blank. She’d already threatened him. F1-970 held all the power. 

“Don’t look so worried.” F1-970 brushed her fingers across One’s forehead and down the side of his cheek. “I won’t do anything you won’t dream about later.” 

“This isn’t a good idea.” One closed his eyes and wished he was back in his room at the compound. Safe. For a brief moment his mind conjured up the image of his room on the Raza. Longing followed. 

“You wouldn’t know a good idea if it hit you in that pretty face of yours,” She told him. “You let him make all your choices for you.” 

“It’s better that way.” One argued. “I won’t do this. Master wouldn’t approve.” 

“You will do whatever I want you to do.” F1-970 corrected him. “Or you’ll lose everything.” 

A stab of panic broke through the barrier around One’s heart. Fear swallowed his insides in a single bite. The first real emotion to break free terrified him the most. Sure there had been a glimmer of other emotions, but fear, so far, had become the strongest. He wanted to go back to where he was safe. Where he could count on someone else making his choices for him. 

His Master wasn’t there. 

“Why are you doing this?” One asked her. 

F1-970 smiled. “Because you’re too perfect.” 

__

“You did well, my child. Your work was flawless.” 

One stood in front of his Master’s desk as the older man read his report. One felt the sting of nervousness as he studied the ground by his boots. Indecision filled his heart as he struggled to build back his walls. He felt dirty. Used. One felt so many things and all he wanted was to go back to the way it was before. He wanted to be numb again. 

“There is something troubling you?” 

One looked up at his Master. He had let his emotions show. Quickly he tried to reign everything back and make his face as blank as a fresh canvas. “Why did you have me followed?” He asked, against One’s iron will his voice tremble. He was likely going to die. One wanted to be honest before he did. “F1-970.” 

“You spotted her.” It wasn’t really a question. His Master stood and stepped around his desk to stand in front of One. “I shouldn’t be surprised. You’ve always been hyperaware of your surroundings.” 

One risked looking his Master in his eyes, but didn’t dare voice the storm of questions brewing inside of him. 

“It was all part of the test.” His Master reassured him. “I needed to make sure you didn’t give into temptations while you were free.” 

“Then I failed.” One broke. “I listened to her. I slept with her. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to disappoint you. I believed her threats – Master forgive me, I didn’t know how to tell her no.” 

“She slept with you?” Something changed in the Master’s tone. 

“Yes.” One closed his eyes in shame. “I deserve to be punished.” 

His Master frowned and walked back around his desk and settled down in his chair. “Tell me all that transpired.” 

__

Later that night One was summoned again. He left the evening meal and joined his Master in the lower levels. One fully expected to be punished for his crimes. What he didn’t expect to see was F1-970 kneeling bruised and bloody on the ground. She glared up at him with her blue eyes and One, for a moment, pictured Three kneeling there instead. 

“Come here, my child.” His Master called and motioned One forward. One stepped closer, uncertain. A gun was handed to him and he let a shred of confusion show on his face. 

“Master?” One asked. 

“I’ve listened to both of your accounts. What transpired on the mission was an unforgivable offense.” His Master started. 

F1-970 growled. “He lied to you Master! He took advantage of me. I am the victim!” 

One flinched as he looked down at her. Is that what F1-970 had told their Master? If so, how was it that she was on the ground and he was the one holding the gun? 

“You allowed yourself to be spotted.” Master addressed her with disappointment dripping off his tongue. “You blackmailed your young brother into satisfying your own twisted need for self pleasure. You raped him.” 

One stared at his Master. He hadn’t really considered what had happened in that light. The realization of truth made him sick to his stomach. He looked from the gun resting in his hand to F1-970 glaring up at his Master. 

“I didn’t do anything he didn’t enjoy.” F1-970 said. 

“I didn’t want it.” One whispered weakly in his own defense. 

“You could have fooled me.” F1-970 shot back angrily. “You practically begged me to – ” 

“Enough.” Master interrupted them. “F1-970, you have disappointed me far too many times. This latest crime is unforgivable. X9-383 – since this crime has been committed against you, you will terminate F1-970. Immediately.” 

One flinched at the use of his identification number. How ironic the number was. A constant reminder of Three. It was rare that his Master ever called him by his code. 

It was equally unusual for an execution to be done in private, but One wasn’t about to question his Master’s wishes. 

Naked fear flooded F1-970’s eyes. “Please. Please! I’m sorry! Master, forgive me!” 

One glanced at his Master for direction and received a simple nod in return. The sentence had been made. One raised the gun and silenced F1-970’s protests with a single shot. Her body fell with a dull thud as it hit the ground. One felt nothing. Not satisfaction or vindication. Not relief. Not anger or shame. No emotion, no empathy – he was empty. 

It was easier not to feel. 

“Although you were mislead, you did disobey my wishes.” One’s Master told him. “You will need to be punished, but I promise you, I feel no pleasure in it.” 

“I understand, Master.” One said and handed the gun over. 

He deserved what was to come. This was his fate for failing his Master.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for stopping by. The next chapter is pretty intense, so stay tuned!


	4. Got It All Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three was screwed. Royally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this chapter ended up being super long! Hope you guys enjoy. 
> 
> Warnings: Violence.

**Got it all Wrong**

They were too late.

“Corso.” Three hissed the name. The man stood over the body of the very dead scientist they had been sent to extract. Three really hated it when missions failed before they even got started. It killed the fun.

It was the cherry on top of the crap-sundae that was Three’s life. Running into One’s look-a-like a week after he had vowed to hunt One down and bring him home. It was just perfect. _Perfectly_ ironic and cruel.

Everything about Jace Corso screamed _One_. Sure the hair was styled different and Corso seemed thin, drawn – not exactly healthy. One had never been so expressionless. Corso looked hardened. His face was as blank as a machine. No emotion. Three frowned. He didn’t remember Corso being so stone faced. The man was smug, an asshole and a bit creepy, but not devoid of emotion.

Three figured he was mixing Corso with his lingering memories of One.

It hurt Three to look at Corso. One’s shadow-self was confident as he held his aim against Three. The whole situation felt eerily familiar. The scene sent Three’s mind careening back to the last time he’d seen One.

Of course, back during that stand off One hadn’t looked quite as confident. His hands had gripped his gun like he was afraid it would fly away from him if he didn’t hold it tight enough. One had never looked comfortable with a weapon in his hands. It was probably because One wasn’t a hardened killer like Corso. Not that Three had given a shit back then. It hadn’t mattered. Nothing had mattered except proving that One had been the betrayer.

A flicker of something passed reflexed in Corso’s dark eyes. An emotion. It was there and then it was gone. It wasn’t something Three could decipher. Maybe Corso had forgotten who Three was. Maybe he had just realized. It didn’t really matter either way.

“Three.” Four entered the room and stopped when he saw Corso and his crewmate in the middle of a standoff. Three smirked, knowing that Four was about to put the hurt on Corso. It served the bastard right for killing the scientist and generally ruining Three’s day. Possibly his week – the jerk.

In a fury of motion Four drew his sword and charged Corso. Corso reacted without concern, trading his gun for a metal pipe he had spotted on the ground. Three was too busy being impressed by Corso’s ability to avoid being beheaded by Four to realize that Corso had lashed out with his new weapon and knocked his beloved gun from his hand.

Pip went flying.

“Hey.” Three cursed and ducked when the pipe swung in his direction a second time. “I didn’t know you could fence, Corso.” Three complained as he kept one eye on the ‘sword fight’ and used the other to search for his gun.

Corso didn’t bother answering.

Four, ever so stoically silent, did not react to Three. Instead Four concentrated on the rather impressive battle he was engaged in. The sharp cling clang of metal on metal rippled painfully through Three’s eardrums. No matter how good Corso was with a pipe, Four was an expert with his sword. Apparently Corso realized this, even though Three never really saw his facial expression change.

Three didn’t remember Corso being this serious.

Four’s sword drove straight through Corso’s right shoulder. Three could taste the victory on the tip of his tongue. Four had won. That is until Corso used the opportunity to his advantage. Three watched in horror as Corso pushed forward onto Four’s blade. A soft grunt and heavier breathing were the only hints that the action had caused him pain. He inched closer. Close enough to lash out and slam the pipe against Four’s vulnerable head. Four hit the ground hard. He didn’t move. Blood started to cascade over Four’s slack face. A gash left as a souvenir from the pipe’s brutal kiss. Four’s eyes were closed. He was down for the count.

Three was screwed. Royally.

Of all the days to be underprepared for a fight – Three really hated his luck. He wished he’d brought Lulu along. Hell, he’d kill for Buba, but he had left his guns behind. Pip was his favorite. Pip reminded him of One.

Pip was just as missing.

“Holy shit.” Three’s eyes widened as he took a step closer, intent on going to Four’s aid. Three was in shock. Four had actually lost. It seemed impossible, but the truth was laid out before Three.

Corso turned to face Three. One’s hand wrapped around the hilt of the sword and pulled. The blade slid free from Corso’s shoulder with slow ease. The man’s eyes were vacant – as empty as one of the zombies from the quarantined ship. Only the slightest grimace of pain echoed across Corso’s pale features as the tip of the blade parted with his flesh. The emotion was like a mirage – gone in the blink of an eye. The bloodied blade clattered to the floor when Corso dropped it. The sound rang out like a scream as Corso charged Three.

Three was a good fighter, but even injured Corso seemed to have the upper hand. The man had gone toe-to-toe with Four and won – that said something. Something significant. Even if Corso had played dirty.

“You know, I don’t remember you being this good in a fight.” Three panted as he dodged Corso’s fist and raised his left arm to block the pipe before it struck his head. The bone cracked under the pressure and Three let out a scream. Clutching his injured limb Three stumbled back in retreat. Corso advanced. The pipe connected to Three’s ribs and he went down.

The pain was blinding. Three crawled in an attempt to put more distance between him and Corso. When the pipe didn’t connect with his body again Three stopped and pushed himself up with his good arm. Once Three rolled back to his knees Corso released his hold on the pipe. It clanged and clattered against the floor in protest as Corso slid his gun out from it’s holster.

Three watched. His ruined arm wrapped protectively around his battered ribs. The realization hit slow. They were about to die. One’s shadow-self was about to kill them without saying a goddamned word.

Corso eyed Three and turned back to Four’s helpless body. Three held his breath when he realized what Corso planned to do. There was no ceremony to it. Corso simply walked over and took aim – suddenly Five was there. She was supposed to be hiding. What the hell was she thinking?

“Five!” Three shouted when Corso leveled his gun between her eyes. Three was certain the green haired girl was about to meet her end. Hell, Three was fairly certain they were all about to die at the hands of One’s mirrored imagine. It felt darkly poetic.

Corso didn’t pull the trigger. He stared at Five who stared back at him.

“One?” Five breathed and Corso’s hand started to tremble.

“One’s dead.” The man spoke for the first time. His voice was as rough as sandpaper. Unused. Instead of pulling the trigger Corso lowered the gun and glanced back at Three.

It couldn’t be. Three felt as if he had been punched in the gut – and if he were honest with himself he had been punched in the gut, several times. One. No. It wasn’t. Was it? Jace Corso would have pulled the trigger. Corso wouldn’t have hesitated. Corso didn’t have any attachments to Five. He didn’t know who she was. He wouldn’t have hesitated. He wouldn’t have –

Of course there were other and bigger differences that made Three realize that Five might actually be right. Jace Corso wasn’t one for direct battles. He didn’t fight harder – he fought smarter. Jace Corso would have never beaten Four in anything. He wouldn’t have tried. Not without a bag of tricks up his sleeve.

Three felt like his insides had been ripped out of him. It couldn’t be. Three couldn’t accept it. He wouldn’t accept it.

Without another word One’s look-a-like walked out of the room.

“Four,” Five’s broken voice stopped Three from scrambling to his feet and running after Corso. No matter what logic argued, the man who had taken down both of the Raza men had to be Jace Corso. Three stood, still holding his broken arm and ribs as he limped over to his fallen crewmate. Four’s head was bloody, but Three noted he was still breathing. At least something was going right.

“He’s going to be fine.” Three promised without actually knowing if he was lying or telling the truth. “Help me get him up. We need to get back to the ship.”

“That was One.” Five whispered.

“No, it wasn’t.” Three shot back with a little more edge than Five deserved.

“You didn’t see the look in his eyes.” Five argued – haunted.

“We’ll figure it out.” Three dropped the subject. “We’ve got his blood. We’ll run a test.”

“Okay.” Five agreed and grabbed the sword as Three grabbed Four. Together they made it back to the Marauder.

Once Android had scanned Four and she had informed them that Four would be fine, Three had her scan the blood from the sword. He knew it couldn’t be One. The man they had just faced was cold and unfeeling – everything One wasn’t. The man he’d known had so much heart it had made Three sick – back when they had been together.

“According to the scan there is a ninety-nine point eight percent probability that the man who attacked you was Derrick Moss.”

The room fell silent save for the beeping coming from the machines monitoring Four’s heartbeat.

“I knew it.” Five whimpered. “Something horrible must have happened to him.”

“Why would One want to kill a scientist?” Two wondered in complete disbelief. “And Four – One isn’t strong enough to fight Four. Hell, he isn’t strong enough to hold his own against any of us.”

Three frowned as he considered the news. It didn’t make sense. One had never killed anyone in cold blood. At least not in the time they had spent together. He had constantly tried to save people – people like the scientist they had been sent to rescue. It went against One’s character for him to go around killing the helpless.

“Who put the hit out on the scientist?” Three asked after a moment. “Whoever takes the bounty should be the one pulling One’s strings.”

“What if One was working alone?”

Three glanced at Two and shook his head. “The One we know wouldn’t do this on his own. Like Five said – something happened. We need to figure out what it was.”

“Three – this might not be something you can fix.” Two pointed out and pointed towards Four. “He nearly killed Four and he broke your arm and a few of your ribs.” She nodded towards the cast their resident doctor had given him.

“He’s One.” Three said. “We all owe it to him to try. We gave up on him. We let this happen.”

That shut Two up. The look of indifference broke into an expression of pure guilt. Two was a good leader. She had to be or none of them would listen to her. She had been the one who had ended the search for One. The others had followed her lead. Three understood why she was reluctant to look into what had happened because of that decision.

“Alright.” Two sighed and threw one last glance in Four’s direction. “Keep me appraised.” She told Android and left the room.

It would be easy to blame Two and say it was all her fault, but Three held himself accountable. He’d let her give up. Now everything was ruined.

Three understood why having One back would upset the balance they had managed to create over the last year. Six would have questions. One would need to be told what not to say to Six. One would need to be told everything. Everyone would need to apologize. Apologies sucked no matter how they were offered. It was possible none of them deserved forgiveness – or would receive it.

It was possible that they would lose One all over again. Three wasn’t sure he’d survive that.

Three thought back to how cold One had looked. A trained killer. “I thought for sure he was Corso.”

Five appeared at his shoulder and wrapped him in a friendly hug. “You didn’t see his eyes. He was terrified.”

Three tensed at first, but melted into the hug as he glanced over Five’s head at Four. Three didn’t bother tell Five that he had seen the man’s eyes. Corso – One had looked dead more than anything. “Is Four still going to want to help?” It would be kind of counterproductive to have Four tag along if he ended up killing One for playing dirty.

The image of One being run-through with the sword wasn’t nearly as disturbing as the image of One as he pulled the sword out. Like it was a splinter. Like it was nothing. How much pain did a person have to go through before they could ignore something like that and continue to fight?

“I think so.” Five answered honestly and released Three to return to Four’s side. “I think he’ll understand, once we explain everything to him.”

“I don’t even understand.” Three rubbed his good hand over his face as he leaned against one of the other exam beds. “How did this happen?”

“Six betrayed us and we accidently left One behind thinking he wanted to be left alone because the last thing he knew was being accused of betraying everyone.” Five said without taking a breath.

Three stared at her and Five shrugged a shoulder. “What? It’s what happened.”

“So nice of you to remind me.” Three glared. “All tied up and presented in a nice nut shell.” He sighed and left Five with Four and Android. Three needed time to wrap his head around what had happened.

__

It took two weeks for Five to gather enough information to act on. Even then there were still gapes left to their imagination. Every scrap of information Five had dug up had been sharp daggers to the heart. One had been through hell and none of them had noticed. None of them had known.

“How can we fix this?” Three asked Four when they sat down together in the mess hall. Four still had a bandage wrapped around the side of his head, but he was mostly recovered. Only suffering from a mild headache and short dizzy spells.

As Five had predicted, Four hadn’t blamed One for what had happened. If anything Four was mildly impressed at One’s new skill level. Horrified, but impressed.

Three’s own injuries were slowly healing. His ribs weren’t as annoying as they had been, but his arm was still in a cast. It was fortunate they had picked up a doctor given the amount of injuries the Raza crew accumulated.

Four was quiet as he considered Three’s question. Neither of them were hungry – their trays of protein sat untouched in front of them.

“We can’t drag him back.” Four answered.

“He kicked both of our asses.” Three said dryly. “Even I realized that using force isn’t a smart option.”

“We need to act with patience.” Four said and pushed his tray away.

“I’ve never had much of that.” Three growled in frustration. Five was tracking down One as they spoke. Trying to figure out where he’d show up next. Three wasn’t sure if they’d be ready when they did find him. What could they even do? They couldn’t force One to do anything. Judging by the information Five had drudged up, One wouldn’t be willing to listen to any outside influence. If what she found was true, One had been thoroughly brainwashed.

Four nodded. “With the right amount of motivation, anything is possible.”

“What did you have in mind?” It was time for Three to stop thinking about himself. He needed to focus on something other than his own pain. One was what mattered in this situation. Three could pretend to be a grown up. At least for a while.

“We – you need to gain his trust.” Four told Three. “It’s going to take time and even then it might not work.”

“Way to stay positive.” Three narrowed his eyes. He didn’t want to think about the possibility of failing. Failure wasn’t an option. Not for him.

“I’m being honest.” Four folded his hands together on top of the table and leaned forward. Three mirrored him as Four continued. “Here’s what you’ll need to do.”

Three didn’t bother to complain that he would be going to face One alone. He didn’t point out that Five might be the better choice. Three knew that Four would never risk her safety. Not even for One. Three was the obvious choice. One had every opportunity to kill Three and he hadn’t taken it.

It wasn’t much, but it was something to go on.

__

A few days later Five appeared. Her blue-green curls were frizzy and disheveled. Her clothes where wrinkled and slept in. Three was fairly certain she hadn’t really slept since their encounter with One.

If she had slept, it wasn’t for very long. Four’s injury had turned taken up most of her time. Four’s patience was never-ending. Three would space Five if she ever tried to coddle him like she had Four.

Three figured Four’s undying tolerance had something to do with love. Or maybe Four didn’t want to upset their kinky sex lives.

When Five wasn’t with Four or Four was resting she had been searching for One.

“I found him.” She announced as the two Raza men watched her. “Sort of.” She corrected herself nervously. Wringing her hands as she stepped closer to the table. “I mean, I think I know where he’ll be. There’s a pattern, it wasn’t easy to figure out, but I won’t bore you with the details. I think I know where he’ll be sent next and I know where he’ll be staying.”

Three and Four shared a look. The time for planning had come to a close. Now they had to risk it. This might be Three’s only shot to gain One’s trust – or build a bridge that could lead to trust.

“Then I guess I’d better head out.” Three stood from the table. His stomach twisted with worry. Could he do this?

“We’ll both go.” Four stood carefully. “You shouldn’t meet with him without backup.”

Three shook his head. “Judging by the information Five pulled up, he’ll know if you’re around.” Three said and glanced from Four to Five. “You should stay with Five. You can help me from here.”

“If he decides to kill you, we’ll be too far away to rescue you.” Four pointed out.

“If he decides to kill me, I’ll be dead.” Three shrugged. “You being close by isn’t going to change anything if things go sideways.”

Four was quiet as he considered his argument. “If it looks hopeless – don’t stick around. You can’t save him if you’re dead.”

Three raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t realize you cared.”

“We do.” Five interrupted.

__

“If he was ready to come back he would have left with us in the lab.” Four reminded Three as they walked to the Marauder.

“So you’ve said – several times.”

“Be patient.”

“Yes, mother.” Three waved Four’s advice away with a flip of his wrist. He’d heard it all before. They’d spent the last few days talking the plan to death. He knew what he needed to do. “I’ve got this.”

Four frowned, but didn’t voice any further arguments.

Three narrowed his eyes defensively. “I’m not going to screw this up.” _If I can help it_ , Three added in the safety of his mind.

“Wait!” Five shouted from down the hall. She ran up to join them, already out of breath. She’d probably run the whole way there. “Here – I made this for One.” She held out a device. It was a small rectangular box equipped with a screen and a tiny keypad. “He can use it to contact us if he wants to meet up with you again.”

“What,” Three took the device in his hand and started to study it. “You don’t think I can convince him to come home with my charming smile and sincere face?”

Five winced. “I think Four’s right. This is going to take time. Anyway, he can either send us a text or call us directly.” She pointed out the features. “Do you need me to show you – ?”

“I’ve got it.” Three waved her off and glanced at his two companions. He almost regretted insisting on going alone. It would be so much easier to have his friends at his side. Three knew he couldn’t risk them. If he failed, Three knew he wouldn’t be able to protect them. “I guess all that’s left is you guys wishing me luck.” Three offered awkwardly as he shifted his weight from foot to foot.

“Good luck.” Four deadpanned and placed his hand protectively on Five’s shoulder.

Three was going to need it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! More coming soon.


	5. Almost Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three was in danger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating sooner. I've had some issues with my back. (I'm too young for this crap!) But I finally feel like I have this chapter where I want it! Yay! 
> 
> Enjoy!

Almost Everything 

One ached. His latest target had well trained guards. It had made things more interesting, but it still hadn’t been much of a challenge. One’s shoulder injury had made the job harder than it should have been. Exhausted after cleaning up the scene, One was relieved to step foot in his designated safe house. So relieved, he didn’t give the apartment a courtesy check before he closed the door. 

“You look like crap.” 

One drew his gun and turned. It was a battle not to simply shoot his intruder. His instincts screamed at him to pull the trigger. No need to look. No need to hesitate. No one was supposed to be there. It was the familiar voice that stopped him. The voice he believed he’d never hear again. 

One’s hand shook ever so slightly as he held his aim. His gun was pointed at the last person he expected to see. Three. Three was there. Three was in his safe house. 

Three was in danger.

They stood together in the dark. Silently staring. Outside the buzz of the city wafted through the opened window. The thin curtains shifted in the light breeze. Three must have climbed up the fire escape. Nine stories. One adjusted the grip on his gun. 

“How did you find me?” One asked. He wanted to rephrase the question as soon as it rolled off his tongue. Why? Why had Three found him? The last time they had met One had nearly killed Four. He’d hurt Three. He would have killed Five if – if something hadn’t stopped him. One still wasn’t certain what had kept him from pulling the trigger in that moment. It would have been so easy. Everything in One’s head had told him to, but his heart…

“Five helped.” Three admitted with a shrug. Nonchalant as he stood with his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets. He looked non-threatening. An easy kill. Did Three have a death wish? Or did he just not understand that he was staring at a killer. 

Three tipped his head to the side as he smirked at One. “You can either shoot me or put that away.” He told One, ever so smug. “I’m not here to get another broken arm. Nice moves by the way. Kind of unexpected.” 

One tried to hang onto the last threads of anger as he narrowed his eyes at Three. He tried to pull the trigger like his Master would want him to. The gun trembled in his indecisive fingers. The rage slipped through his grasp like it had when he’d stared down into Five’s terrified eyes. Something had clicked. He realized it wasn’t the Raza crew’s fault he’d given into darkness. One had become a monster – all on his own. 

The crew of the Raza had left him behind, but One had deserved it. They hadn’t trusted him. He had, at some point, become untrustworthy. That was One’s fault. If he had been stronger, smarter or simply made more of a positive contribution maybe things would have been different. It was doubtful. The only places One belonged were at his Master’s side or doing his Master’s will. 

But his Master wasn’t with him. It seemed every time One got himself into trouble his Master was too far away. 

It was hard to think independently. Mostly because his Master preferred it when One didn’t think. One was alone a lot at the compound. It used to be easy. Not thinking. He would exercise or practice maneuvers his trainers had taught him. 

There were techniques the trainers had taught One to keep his mind blank. He would breathe and push away the impure thoughts from his mind. He’d focus on his Master and his Master’s will. There was no reason to waste time thinking of anything else. Thinking was something best left to his Master. 

The breathing techniques weren’t working now. One felt like he was on the verge of hyperventilating. Three shouldn’t be near him. Three needed to go. 

Three blinked in the dark as he studied One and One studied him back. He didn’t seem to be in a hurry. 

“You look pale.” Three said after the silence had stretched on too long. 

One wasn’t sure how to answer. He clenched his jaw for a moment as he considered a proper response. 

“It’s dark.” One pointed out. He hadn’t bothered to turn on the light. He preferred to be surrounded by shadows. People outside the safe house wouldn’t be able to see him. It made One feel safer. 

“Thanks captain obvious.” Three chuckled darkly. One could tell he was watching the gun nervously. The shadow’s could only hide so much. 

Anger still burned hot inside of One, but it no longer had a solid target. He’d had his chance at revenge. It was then that he realized his anger was misdirected. One tried to box it away. He pushed it back onto the bookshelf in the far corners of his mind. The place where he had hidden the rest of his unwanted emotions. It was only a matter of time, One figured, before the anger bled through it’s bindings and turned on himself. It wasn’t like he didn’t deserve it.

One’s hand gripped the gun tighter as it shook. It didn’t feel right to aim a gun at Three. It should feel normal, not wrong. The longer he held his arm up the more pain started shooting through his injury. He was still healing. Being stabbed through the shoulder was painful, the recovery had been worse. It didn’t help that he had kept working. He had to. His Master needed him. 

It looked like Three was still healing himself. The bulge of Three’s jacket was likely from a cast. A sting of guilt wrapped around One’s heart and tightened painfully. 

Slowly he lowered his arm, but he didn’t holster his gun. He was too afraid to. 

Three seemed to relax when the gun was lowered. 

One wondered silently why he was still alive. Three could have killed him without saying a single word. One had lost awareness of his environment. Weakness such as that had no place in the universe. By all accounts, One had deserved to die. 

One was always careful to pay attention to his surroundings outside of the compound. After his experience with F1-970 he rarely let his guard down inside the barracks. F1-970 had friends – unlike One. They were equally as careful when they made One’s life at the compound harder than necessary. One knew he could tell his Master, but something like guilt kept One’s mouth tightly shut. He could handle a bit of hazing. He was a soldier, after all. Instead of confronting F1-970’s friends directly, One practiced his ability to escape and evade. 

With his hyperawareness One should have spotted Three if he had been followed. Of course, he had no idea that Three and the others had found him. Maybe he was more tired than he thought. 

One knew he should have killed his former crewmates that night. He’d considered it in the heat of the moment. He had even craved it. The thought of ridding himself of his past had been a relief. Like letting go of a hot piece of coal he had been holding onto. Living in anger had torn One apart, but when the moment came to exact his revenge it hadn’t felt right. Revenge had felt wrong. 

One was certain he would have killed Four if it hadn’t been for Five stepping in. Her face, so open and fearful had broken through One’s training. Five had stopped him from making a horrible mistake. The guilt for hurting Four, for hurting Three had been hard to hide behind his trained mask of indifference. It was impossible to get rid of. It raged like a storm inside of him. Too strong for One to regain control of. 

One wanted it all to go away. The anger. The pain. The guilt. He wanted to be numb. Not to feel. Feeling was weakness. He was filled with weakness. 

“What do you want?” One asked. Tired. Drained. If Three was there to kill him, One thought it might be better to let him. Easier. 

One was certain that Four was dead. He remembered how hard he had hit the smaller man. The way Four’s body had crumbled to the floor. Three had hunted him down for revenge. It was the only reason One could think of that Three would track him down. And Five. She must hate him. 

One had kept the details of what really happen from his Master. That mission, like all of One’s missions, had been a success. Of course, his Master had questions. The biggest being how One had managed to get himself run through by a sword. One had come up with a convincing lie his Master seemed to take at face value. It was hard to tell sometimes. His Master was very good at concealing things One did not need to know or understand. One had been punished for his weakness and his Master had started to send him out on back to back to back missions. It was exhausting. 

One’s Master had trained One too well to leave the scene as it had been. Coated in his blood. The authorities would have been able to track his DNA. If they had, One would have been useless to his Master. 

After the crew of the Raza had left, One had snuck back into the building. It had been difficult. He’d been suffering from blood loss and even with the bandages it was hard to not accidently leave a second blood trail. 

Three sighed. The sound broke One from his drifting thoughts. Weakness. His Master’s voice whispered to him. He was filled with weakness. 

“That’s a loaded question.” Three admitted. “Mostly, I wanted to see you.” 

Three had wanted to see him? It didn’t make sense. Why would Three want to see someone like One? Rage flared inside of One. One hated himself. He was a monster. He made Jace Corso look like a saint. Three shouldn’t be near him. Three, although not perfect in any way, shape or form, would be tainted by sharing the same air as One. 

“I don’t believe you.” One said before he could take it back. “You never – ” One finally managed to stop talking and looked away in shame. He shouldn’t have said anything. He should have shot Three and disposed of the body. He had let these emotions go after he’d finished Orientation. He’d let his past go. It was nothing to him. All that mattered was his Master and his Master’s needs. 

“We thought you didn’t want to be found.” Three started. “You were just gone.” 

“I was gone.” One huffed as bitterness bled through. His face remained as lifeless as stone. One could see a flash of fear in Three’s eyes, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “I was – gone.” He laughed once. Sharply. Insincere and cold. “They sold me. I wasn’t Jace Corso. Derrick Moss was dead. I was nobody. No one was looking for me. They had this deal. Some underground thing – I was never really given the details. They sold me and my Master saved me.” 

“Saved you?” Three visibly bristled, hands falling out of his pockets as he started to pace the room by the open window. Three liked to talk with his hands, One remembered as Three continued. “That man made you into his personal assassin.” 

“I am an extension of my Master’s will.” One said automatically. 

Three’s eyes widened as he stopped pacing and stared at One. “He brainwashed you.” 

One flinched at the accusation and stepped back. He needed distance. “My Master liberated me from the chains of choice. With him I am free from the burden.” 

“Meaning he does all the thinking for you.” Three took two steps forward. One raised his gun to stop him. With a growl Three held up his hands. “The One I know would never let someone else think for him. The One I knew used his head and followed his heart.” 

One’s heart raced. “My designation is X9-383.” 

“What?” Three blinked at the change of topic. “Designation?” Three scoffed and One’s hand started to shake again. He couldn’t shoot Three. One couldn’t kill Three. That point was made clear to One time and again. His Master would be disappointed in One’s weakness. If One were wise he’d eat a bullet before his Master found out. If One were brave he would do it immediately. End everything before things got worse. 

“Alright, alright – lets start over.” Three offered, his voice softer. It drew One’s thoughts away from the dark. One stared at Three as he implored One. “Please, put the gun away.” 

“You should leave.” One told Three and re-adjusted his grip on his weapon. “Please.” 

“Is that really what you want?” Three looked stricken. “After all this time? Do you really want me to leave, I will.”

One couldn’t decide. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he struggled to think. His heart wanted Three to stay but his head was telling him his Master wouldn’t approve. His Master would be displeased. He needed to kill Three. 

Three had seen too much. As One’s inner turmoil raged on he kept his expression carefully blank as he held his aim. Three stayed still, but his facial expressions changed from imploring to concerned as the minutes ticked by. It confused One even more. Three wasn’t concerned for himself – that much was obvious. Three cared. Did Three care? One couldn’t kill him. One couldn’t tell him to leave. Silently One lowered his gun and looked away with closed eyes. 

“Come back with me. Rejoin the Raza.” Three offered. “We’ll figure this out. Together.” 

“I can’t.” One shivered. Exhausted and in pain. His Master wouldn’t let him go. One had hunted down the unfaithful in his Master’s stead. They never escaped. They were always dragged back and shown their Master’s scorn. 

“Okay.” Three sighed. “Okay – so you can’t leave with me. I won’t force you.” 

One looked up at that. Three was actually letting him decide. 

“Can I ask you something?” Three questioned. One stayed silent and Three seemed to take it as an invitation. “Do you – are you – can I see you again?” 

“I can’t.” One whispered and lowered his gaze. “I am an extension of my Master’s will.” He repeated brokenly. Three was a temptation. Three was against the rules – but Three was home in a way that One had forgotten. “Four?” He found himself asking. “I didn’t – ”

“Kill him? No.” Three answered carefully. “He was actually a little impressed by that move of yours. Said it was something he would have done in a pinch.” 

One allowed himself to feel a rush of relief before he shoved the emotion back down. “Five?” 

“She has nightmares sometimes,” Three admitted casually. One felt his heart stop. He’d become the thing of nightmares. Three didn’t seem to notice the change and continued. “She wants you to come home.” That wasn’t right. Why would Five want him closer? Three explained. “She thinks this is her fault. She was sure you had been dropped off like she had.” 

Five thought this was her fault? No. It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t Three’s fault. It wasn’t Four, Two or Six’s – One had been weak. He’d always been the weak member of the crew. 

Going back would only cause them more pain. One couldn’t leave his Master. He belonged to his Master. He was there to serve. 

“I can’t.” One repeated. 

“I know.” Three said. He looked disappointed. “Look, you’re tired – exhausted. One – or X5 whatever you’re calling yourself now, just lay down with me before you go.” 

One hesitated, which said enough to keep Three talking. It made Three confidant enough to step forward and left One confused enough to stay still. 

“Hey,” Three kept his hands open and in plain sight. “I know you can’t stay and this is probably the wrong thing to do, but I don’t know when I’m going to see you again.” 

“Why does it matter?” One’s lips formed the question before his mind could stop them. Brown eyes locked onto blue.

“It gets lonely. Look, I miss you.” Three reached out and One pulled back. This was wrong. This was everything against what his Master wanted. One thought of F1-970 and how she had died. Three continued talking, unaware or uncaring of One’s inner turmoil. “It’s hard to believe, I know, but I was wrong. Back then, we were all wrong.” 

One didn’t care about the past. The past was as dead as One was. One didn’t exist. Not anymore. Not the way Three wanted him to. 

They hadn’t trusted him. He had lost them. It had been his fault. 

“My Master has freed me from the guilt of my past.” One whispered automatically. Unable to look Three in the eyes. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Three told him. His voice surprisingly tender. “You shouldn’t feel guilty. About any of it. We let you down. We let each other down. No one was right in that situation. Except maybe Four. He never really accused anyone of anything.” 

“I – I can’t go back.” One closed his eyes and tried to shut his traitorous mind down. 

“I get that.” Three gently placed his hands against One’s arms. The contact made One jump, his eyes flew open and he found himself snared in Three’s gaze. His hands were gentle. It wasn’t an aggressive hold. It was – almost a comfort. Warm hands against cold skin. One hadn’t been touched like that in a long time. With his Master every touch felt possessive. A declaration of power. “We don’t have to do anything. Just sleep. You look like you need some rest.” 

“I have to go back to my Master.” One told Three. His eyes wandered the room in search of an escape. 

“Tonight?” Three asked.

“No.” One looked down in defeat. 

“Then let’s get some sleep.” Three’s fingers ghosted down from One’s shoulder to his hand. Three took the gun carefully from One’s limp fingers. Three made no sudden movements as he set the weapon down on the dresser near them. One watched, but made no move to stop him. One wasn’t going to shoot Three and he was pretty sure Three knew it. “I’ll watch your back so you can rest and in the morning we’ll go our separate ways.” 

“Why?” One breathed. 

“Because without you – there’s no one to fight with.” 

“What?” 

“I’m not me without you. Get it?” 

“I can’t go back with you.” One needed to explain it to Three. He wasn’t the same person he had been. He was – darker. Dangerous. 

“I know that.” Three nodded. “But maybe we can meet up, like this. When we’re both between jobs.” 

“My Master wouldn’t approve.” That was an understatement. It was a terrible idea. It was a disaster waiting to happen, but the idea of never seeing Three again hurt more than the idea of risking death. If his Master found out they would both be dead. On some level One knew that he could just as easily die on his next mission. Every day was a risk. Three didn’t need to live like that. He could be safe.

“Then don’t ask him.” Three threaded his fingers loosely in One’s and led him gently over to the bed. One could break the hold. One could break Three’s other arm. One could have escaped right then and there and returned to his Master, but he decided to stay. 

“Sleep on it.” Three offered. “Decide what you want to do in the morning. Just – let’s sleep. We can talk tomorrow. Or not talk. It’s up to you.” 

It was easier letting someone else make the choices.

“Okay.” One gave in. It was easier just to stay and see what happened. His Master wasn’t there. He was alone. One didn’t want to choose. Three – Three was with him. Three wanted to be with him. Three wasn’t forcing him to do anything he didn’t want to do. Three was – home. The only home One had ever known. 

“I was so angry.” One admitted. “At everyone.” 

“We kind of deserved it.” Three winced as they kneeled together on top of the bed. 

“I nearly killed Four.” One closed his eyes as Three lowered them both towards the pillows. They were both still fully clothed and on top of the covers, but it was safer that way. Easier to run. Safer to stay.

“He’ll get over it.” Three shrugged a shoulder and raised his other hand to stroke the side of One’s cheek. One twitched, reminded of his Master. He was betraying his Master. 

“I’m tired.” One opened his eyes and looked into seas of blue. He had missed Three. Three was next to One and it still felt too far away. One ached for him. He ached for his old life, but he knew that life was dead. Gone. One knew he could never return. 

“So sleep.” Three smirked playfully. 

“Okay.” For the first time in a very long time, One slept peacefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for stopping by!


	6. If It Brings You Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three hoped One was somewhere safe when reality hit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I skipped breakfast and I might not get to eat lunch before work...but here's a new chapter! Also...I've added two chapters in-between this chapter and the original 'next' chapter because I felt their needed to be more...well, you'll see. 
> 
> Basically there might be a little delay because I have to write the next two chapters and rewrite the one after them. Trust me, it's going to be worth it! (I hope...)

Three didn’t sleep. It was partially because he was afraid that if he closed his eyes One would disappear. Being close to One was a gift and he didn’t want to waste it. As long as they could be together Three wanted to be conscious of every second. Sleep could wait. Three was also slightly afraid that One would wake up and change his mind about killing him. Death would be counter-productive at this point.

It would be a lie to say One’s new assassin status didn’t frighten him. Three didn’t exactly scare easily, but One’s expressionless face was a bit unnerving. The way One carried himself showed how deadly he could be. Three had seen it first hand. He had read about it in the information Five had dredged up. It wasn’t right. Nothing about this was right.

The One that Three remembered had a big heart and a bigger mouth. One hadn’t been a stone cold killer and he had never been so quiet or still. It was hard to believe that One had gone through such a drastic change.

Three felt guilty. It twisted inside of him like worms eating their way through his heart.

The whole situation was like a never-ending nightmare. It was a trick in the darkness, a play of shadows, an illusion – anything other than the truth. It was hard to choke down, but Three had seen too much to pretend things were normal.

Even if One reverted into his old, innocent self when he slept.

Three watched One breathe. The light inhales and the soft exhales were accompanied by the subtle rise and fall of his chest. It was hypnotizing. Serene. Three almost wished One would stay asleep. That they could live in peace for eternity, but Three was a realist. He knew that morning would come and that he needed to be prepared.

He had wanted this to be easy. Three closed his eyes tightly. He had wanted Four to be wrong. He needed One to ask to come home. Three knew that wasn’t going to be that simple. He couldn’t afford to be delusional. Not about this.

At least One hadn’t killed him yet. So far so good. Three didn’t regret leaving his weapons behind with the Marauder. He was naked. Exposed. Four would be pissed. Five would lecture him if she found out, and knowing her she would, but Three had decided it was necessary risk. It was dangerous, but it had paid off. So far.

Even if Three had a weapon it wouldn’t have made much of a difference. If One had wanted to kill him, Three knew he’d be dead. Besides, if he had brought his guns with him One would have been on edge. He would have expected a fight. Three was giving One another reason to trust him. At least he hoped One would take it in that way.

Curled on his side, One looked too young to be trapped in the situation he was in. A killer. Three had seen it. Three had seen what One had become. Three felt responsible. More responsible than he probably should feel. He couldn’t change the past, but he could hopefully change the future.

Up close, Three noted that One was paler than he remembered. His already slim body was thinner. Unhealthy. Fragile. It was clear that One was being run down. The shoulder injury alone probably didn’t help anything.

Three let his hand hover over One’s shirt and contemplated checking the injury. It would be foolish to wake One, Three sighed and lowered his hand. Being stabbed was bad enough. Being run through with a sword was probably worse.

The bastard pulling One’s strings was doing a bang up job of killing One. Slowly.

Five’s research had created a fractured image, which left too much free space for Three’s twisted imagination to play. All the pieces she had gathered had drawn a picture of One working – a lot. So many bodies had been found in One’s wake. Three wondered if One realized what he was doing, or if his mind had been played with to the point where One wasn’t able to process the carnage.

Three hoped One was somewhere safe when reality hit.

Being close to One was more difficult than Three predicted. Three knew he’d screwed up a few times during their little chat, but for whatever reason One hadn’t run. Three was grateful. Screwing this up wasn’t an option.

Five would never forgive him if they lost One again. Three was pretty sure he’d never be able to forgive himself if this didn’t work.

Seeing One’s condition lit a fire within Three. It was worse than Three had imagined. One looked horrible. The sword injury alone should have put One out of commission for a while, but it seemed One’s Master didn’t care. He kept pushing One. Three wondered if One’s puppeteer wanted One to burn out.

The bastard probably didn’t give a damn.

Three reached out silently, his fingers hovered just over One’s ghostly white skin. He remembered how One had flinched away from such a simple touch.

All Three wanted to do was to tie One up and drag him back to the Raza. It wouldn’t work though. Four and Five both had done extensive research into reversing similar types of conditioning. They were practically experts. Three trusted them.

Three hoped he could convince One to trust himself. It was the only way they would ever get One back. One had to make the decision. Three was there to help.

__

Three nearly broke free from his own skin when One woke. It was instantaneous. Three had been studying a calm, serene face one moment and the next One’s eyes had snapped open. It took every ounce of Three’s willpower to stay both quiet and still. He didn’t want to risk moving too suddenly and startling One.

One’s dull brown eyes looked straight through Three. Like he wasn’t really there. Three reasoned that One might still be half asleep, but it was unnerving. There was no acknowledgement or any other indication that One realized he wasn’t alone in the room. One simply sat up and slipped off of bed with unnatural grace and walked into the bathroom.

The door clicked shut and Three slowly sat up with stiff awkwardness. After a moment he heard the shower turn on. With a forlorn sigh, Three scouted to the edge of the bed and resigned himself to wait.

In the light One didn’t look much better than he had in the dark. Three wondered silently if he could do this. If he could convince One to stay in contact with him. There was no reason for One to want to meet up again. Just because One hadn’t killed Three didn’t mean that One felt anything. Three’s heart ached at the uncertainty of it all. He had no control whatsoever over what would happen and he hated it.

Three looked up when One reentered the room. He had changed his clothes. The style didn’t seem right, but Three figured One had let his Master pick them out. Freedom from choice, Three shivered. One’s hair had been toweled dry. It was shorter than Three was used to seeing it. Three furrowed his brow and tried to push down dark thoughts.

Clearing his throat, Three forced himself to grin.

“Mornin.” Three greeted with a half wave.

One turned to him and blinked. Confused as he stared at Three like he never had seen him before. Three watched as One glanced over to where his gun still sat on the nightstand. Time froze for Three as One decided what to do.

To shoot or not to shoot, Three thought humorlessly as he held his breath in anticipation.

“Morning.” One offered, monotone and dry after several uncomfortably tense minutes had ticked by. Three exhaled slowly as relief flooded his tight gut. So far he’d manage to survive his encounter with One.

Five would be happy.

“So.” Three drew out the word and let it hang in the air around them.

“So?” One repeated. Clipped. Shorter. A question. Three realized One had no idea what to do. What to say. How to move forward. They were the same in that sense. Both a little lost.

“This was fun.” Three smiled disarmingly.

“Fun?” One asked. Though his voice was as deadpanned as ever, Three could sense the scoff in it. Okay, maybe it hadn’t been fun, per say. It was difficult to describe the night. Three had been certain he was about to die several times over the last few hours, but he was still alive. So, it was tense, tense could be fun. Couldn’t it? Three decided to roll with it anyway.

“Yeah, fun.” Three nodded. “I mean, I kind of wish we had argued a bit more. I miss the banter. But maybe next time.”

“Next time?” One repeated like some colorful and annoying bird.

Three winced. “Well, I hoped – Five made this for you.” Three rolled off the bed and reached into his jacket pocket. One froze and Three saw his hand twitch – ready to dive for his weapon. Slowly Three pulled out the device and stepped forward. The device was flat on the palm of his hand as Three held it out for One to see. “It’s to call us. Me. I have one. You don’t have to call, you can just send me coordinates and a time and I’ll come meet you.”

“My Master wouldn’t approve.” One repeated his words from yesterday. Three thought this time he didn’t seem as confident. Maybe One wasn’t as lost as Three had thought.

“He doesn’t have to know.” Three suggested slyly. “Or you could ask.”

“He’d have you killed.” One whispered and looked away. Three felt something swell inside of his heart. It felt like hope. One didn’t want him to die.

“It’s up to you.” Three took a step closer. One held his ground. “Just take the device. Hide it. You don’t have to use it if you don’t want to. I won’t stalk you or show up again. Destroy it. This is your choice. I’ve missed you. We all have. I just wanted to let you know that you had people out in the universe. In case you need us.”

One stared at Three silently. Face ever so blank. After another long pause of deliberation, One reached out and gently took the device from Three’s hand.

“I have to go.” One told Three without looking him in the eye.

“I know.” Three’s smile lost some of it’s shine. He wanted One to stay, to come home, but he understood. That was a lie, he didn’t understand. Three had no idea what One had gone through. He had no idea how to fix it. Not yet. All he could do was hope that One took the next step.

“Call.” Three motioned to the device again. “For anything. Even if you just want to talk. Or not talk. I’ll be there.”

A flicker of uncertainty crossed One’s face before he smoothed his expression back to nothingness. One nodded sharply and collected his things. Three watched in silence, hands resting on his hips as he fought to keep his mouth shut.

There were no 'goodbyes' offered between them. Three's heart was in his throat making it hard to breathe let alone speak. One simply turned back to Three and nodded. Three wanted to know what the nod meant. Did it mean, 'see you soon' or 'I'll call'? Or was it the closest thing to a goodbye Three would ever receive? Three returned the gesture with an added, nervous tremble of his lips. No words emerged. If Three said anything it would be 'don't go.'

One hesitated only a second and then he was gone. 

__

Allowing One return to that monster was the hardest thing Three had ever done. All Three could do was stand there and watch as One walked away. Three didn’t know if One would contact him. Three wasn’t sure if he could stay away if One didn’t.

It wasn’t just that One had given someone else full reign over his mind – it was the fact that the guy One had surrendered to was demented. Pure evil. Everything One had been so against back when they had been a crew.

Five had collected file after file of information on Erik Delarose. The man was brilliant – for a psychotic piece of shit.

Delarose bought people off the black market. He set the whole thing up to make himself look like the hero. He made it appear as if he had saved the poor soul from something worse. Once obtained the slaves went through something called Orientation. There wasn’t a whole lot details on the process, but Three was able to guess what One had gone through.

Three had done research on conditioning. He’d also listened to Four and Five talking about what they had learned. There were plenty of nasty techniques assholes like Delarose used to break people down. Once the person was completely shattered they were rebuilt and turned into something completely different. They were taught to forget their past, but it was clear that One had managed to hold onto to something. Hopefully it would be enough to break his conditioning, but One had to be willing to take the first step.

Three had lost several meals thinking of what One might have suffered. There was a box in the back of his brain where he shoved those thoughts – the pictures he had conjured up. There was no reason to dwell on what may or may not have happened. He wouldn’t know anything until One told him.

It was unlikely that One was going to be up for share-time anytime soon. Hell, Three knew he would be lucky just to see One again.

As he headed back to the Marauder he considered more of the information Five had found.

If the slave survived Orientation they were put through a series of tests to prove their undying loyalty. If they survived the tests the slaves skills were finally put to use. If they proved to be untrustworthy or unable to follow orders they were terminated.

As far as Five had found, it didn’t take much for one of Delarose’s chosen to disappoint him. The death count was what had Three’s heart in knots. Delarose called the death’s suicides and had several ‘witnesses’ to back up his claims. The Authorities couldn’t touch Delarose. He was a cult leader. None of his illegal activities ever squeezed their way out into the light.

Three knew what they were doing was dangerous. Sneaking around. Making plans to meet in secret. If they slipped up and Delarose found out, One was as good as dead.

Hell, Three might never know if or when One was terminated. One would be gone. There would be no saving him.

Even if Three managed to convince One to come back home, back to the Raza, Delarose wouldn’t willingly let One go. It wasn’t a matter of if – it was a matter of when they’d be hunted down. The man was possessive. Not only possessive, Delarose was smart. Delarose knew if one of his ‘children’ were to fall into the wrong hands and their programing was compromised his whole operation would fall.

One was in serious trouble. Three wasn’t sure how to help. He wasn’t sure if he could help.

Three’s eyes prickled. He felt like crying. He felt like punching something. He held onto his fractured emotions with the determination of a drunk juggler. He couldn’t afford to be weak now. He had to be strong. For One.

It took several hours for him to regroup with the Raza. Once the Marauder was docked Three stormed onto the Raza. He needed a drink. Or twenty.

“You’re back!” Five greeted at the end of the Marauder’s ramp. Learning how to fly the stupid shuttle had been the best decision of his life. It gave him the freedom he needed to leave the Raza and go to One whenever he could. If One ever called.

Three ignored Five, intent on heading back to his room to sulk, brood and get shit-face drunk. Four blocked his path, ruining his plans. For a small guy Four tended to take up a lot of space.

“What happened?” Four asked, leaving no room for Three to escape having to answer.

“He went back to Delarose. He’s brainwashed. You should have heard some of the shit he said.” Three shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration and finally let out some anger by slamming his fist against the wall of the Raza. It hurt, but it was nothing compared to the agony in his heart. “I couldn’t force him to come back. I could tell – he wouldn’t have come. He said as much. Even if he did come back he wouldn’t have stayed.”

“It’s good you didn’t force him to come back with you.” Four dropped his arms. “He’s had everything taken away from him. His sense of self – his ability to choose. He doesn’t know anything beyond how to follow orders right now. You giving him options will help build trust.”

Three stared at Four with a scrunched up face. “It still sucks balls.” Three whined sharply, but gave a reluctant nod. “Makes sense. It just sucks. He could die because of this, because of me.”

“We won’t let him.” Five chimed in. “We’ll work together. He’ll be okay.”

“He took the device you made.” Three told Five. “Said he’d hide it somewhere safe and use it to contact me next time he can meet.”

“There’s always the chance he might not call.” Four pointed out.

“Then I’ll find him.” Three refused to give up on One. Even if he had promised not to stalk One. This was the first meeting. The first of hopefully many. Four was right, Three needed to be careful. He needed to build a safety net of trust. Eventually One would come home. He had to.

“You mean I’ll find him.” Five raised an eyebrow. “We’re a team. We’re going to get One back. Together.”

“If it brings him home.” Three whispered. “I guess I’ll just have to suffer a bit. God knows he has.”

It was a matter of time and patience.

And drinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Soon (Hopefully)
> 
> TBC


	7. Forlorn Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One froze as he sat straight-backed on the edge of his pristinely made bed. Slipping up, no matter how small, was unacceptable. The emotions inside of him were out of line. Control needed to be reestablished. Immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo, this was unexpected. I reread the first few chapters of this story and, wouldn't you know it, it got stuck in my head. I thought to myself, what did I have planned next? I know I wrote more...and I came across this in my archives....a folder within a folder within a forgotten folder. Sigh. It was...well, you'll see. So I tweaked some things and read through it...but likely there will be some grammatical mistakes. My apologies. 
> 
> Enjoy?

One stood in a stiff parade rest outside of his Master’s office. Shoulders back. Chest out. His hands firmly clasped behind his back as he stared forward. The perfect picture of a soldier as he waited to report to his General after a battle. Waiting. One had been standing like this for hours. It felt like minutes. Any moment the door would open and One would have to make a decision.

He could lie. 

He could tell the truth. 

The old, mostly dead part of One wanted to curse. He wanted to pace. He wanted to make a scene and talk things out until they made sense. That person couldn’t exist. Not in this place. Emotions erupted to life inside of One. He shot them down as quickly as he could, but they were overpowering him from the inside. It was all he could do to shove them down and pray that they wouldn’t show on his face. 

So far he had managed to hold himself together and remain blank faced. He stood like a ghost. Scarcely moving to breathe. 

It would be better not to breathe. It would be better not to exist. It would be so much easier to be dead. If One had an ounce of bravery he would have saved his Master the trouble of killing him for his treachery. One would have eaten a bullet. Leapt from a high ledge – anything to erase himself from the universe. 

The time for that choice was over.

One was alive. He needed to make a choice. It shouldn’t be this hard to make a decision. Why was it so hard to choose? Why couldn’t someone else make the choice for him? Three had suggested he lie, but could he lie to his Master? Wouldn’t his Master see through such blatant deceit? 

What was right and what was wrong? One considered silently. Unblinking he stared ahead as he waited for his time to be up. Existence was a ticking time bomb. Blue cord or red cord. What was he going to cut? 

He had kept the full truth from his Master before. He’d told his Master that one of the guards had favored a sword and that was who had run him through with the blade. It had been a lie. He hadn’t told his Master about running into his old crew. 

How had they even escaped prison? One hadn’t asked Three. One regretted it now. There was so much he wanted to know, but he had forgotten how to ask. He couldn’t think anymore. Thinking was wrong. His Master preferred to think for him. It was better that way. Thinking for himself was only getting him into trouble. And Three – it was getting Three into trouble as well. 

One should tell his Master everything. He should. That was the correct thing to do. The correct – no, it wasn’t the right thing. Three would die. Three would be hunted down and killed along with Five and the rest of them. They knew too much. 

He couldn’t let that happen. It was one thing to allow himself to remain a monster, but it was another to know that he had been responsible for the death of his crew. 

It hadn’t been long ago that he had wished to kill them all himself. If only he had pulled the trigger when he had run into them the first time. He would have killed Four – Five had stopped him. Her eyes pleaded as she stared up at him. The emotion – he could feel it. He wanted to feel again. 

He should have shot her, but he was unrelentingly glad that he hadn’t. 

Something twisted around One’s heart. He shouldn’t be able to feel it anymore. After all he had done. His heart shouldn’t be able to feel anything. 

Damned emotions. 

Damn everything. 

One’s face broke, just slightly as he closed his eyes and tried to calm his breathing back to even. Once everything was back under careful control. 

The door opened as if his Master sensed his lapse. 

B2-900 exited the room. He shot a careful glare at One before he headed down the hall. One’s Master appeared within the doorframe. He smiled and motioned One forward. One stepped into the office without hesitation. He knew he was out of time, but he still had no idea what he had decided. 

One figured the words would come. 

Three was going to die. 

“You returned earlier than I expected.” His Master commented lightly as they settled into their places. 

“The guards weren’t as good as they thought they were.” One stated. 

“And your injury?” His Master asked, eyeing One’s shoulder. 

“It wasn’t a problem.” One answered. 

“Good. You’ll have the doctors look at it when we finish here.” His Master said and glanced down at the tablet on his desk. “Let’s go through the mission, you know the protocol.” 

“Yes.” One nodded sharply, standing stiffly in front of his Master. With a calm breath he started to tell his Master about his mission. It was a step by step word essay on the execution. Easy. Simple. Straight forward. 

“Is there anything else?” His Master asked. It was a standard question. Whenever One went out on a solo mission his Master expected him to fill him in on anything that might be abnormal. Anything that might cause problems later on down the line. 

“Nothing to report.” One said. The lie hung true in the air. 

His Master didn’t look up. Didn’t sense anything different about One’s answer. One used the same word he always had. 

“Good.” Master looked up and smiled. “You did well, my child. Go see the doctors and rest. I will call you when you are needed.” 

“Yes, Master.” One bowed low and formal before he left the room. Once a safe distance away One sagged against the nearest wall and breathed deep, fighting off hyperventilation. He had lied. He had lied. He had chosen to lie. His Master had believed him. Part of him was relieved and the rest wanted to go back and tell the truth. What was right? What was Wrong? One didn’t know anymore. 

Three would live. For now. 

For now that would be enough.

__

The doctor did a clinical examination of the wound. It hurt, but the doctor just smiled and handled him a bottle of pills and told him to take two before he went to sleep. One had run out of pills just before the mission. 

“Thank you.” One pushed the bottle into his pants pocket and pulled on his grey uniform shirt. The doctor tipped his head with an odd expression, but accepted the tanks with a smile. 

It only occurred to One after he reached his room that he’d never spoken unprompted to the doctor before. There had never been a need too. The doctor was doing their Master’s bidding just as One was. No ‘thanks’ needed to be given. Not to the doctor. The only person that deserved the courtesy of a ‘thank you’ was One’s Master. Giving ‘thanks’ to anyone else was unnecessary and in this case, wrong. The doctor was just a tool guided by their Master’s hand. Master deserved all the thanks. 

One froze as he sat straight-backed on the edge of his pristinely made bed. Slipping up, no matter how small, was unacceptable. The emotions inside of him were out of line. Control needed to be reestablished. Immediately. 

He had chosen to lie to his Master. He had chosen Three’s life. One didn’t regret making a decision that would protect Three, but now he needed to live with that choice. He needed to stand by it. 

If he made mistakes and slipped back into old habits Three might still be in danger. His Master trusted him and that was the only reason why he didn’t notice that something had been off. Hell, One wasn’t even certain if his Master didn’t suspect something was different. It could be only a matter of time before his Master learned of the lies. If that were to happen, Three and the other Raza crew members would be killed. 

Whether they lived or died was a weight on One’s shoulders. Their fates would be sealed by his choices. One’s choice to lie. One’s choice to keep lying. He had to go on with life and forget about that little device Three had given him. The device that One had skillfully hidden somewhere close by. A place only he knew. 

One’s heart pounded. Maybe it hadn’t been such a secret place. 

Shoulder throbbing One finally took out the bottle of pills and shook the tablets out onto his palm. For a moment One simply stared at the white capsules. It was tempting to pour the rest of the medication out onto his hand and swallow them. If he were to die unexpectedly his Master might look for a reason. 

No, One couldn’t risk it. With a sigh he dropped the excess pills back into the bottle. He couldn’t risk Three’s life. It would be too much of a coincidence for One to die so soon after a mission. 

He needed to wait. The time needed to be right if One decided he couldn’t live like this anymore. 

Really One’s life wasn’t too awful. He had a room to himself, three meals a day and – 

One frowned. He tried to think of other positive attributes but came up empty handed. 

He blamed his lack of findings on being tired. Downing the recommended dose of medication, One pulled off his shoes and socks and laid down on his bed. A good nights rest was what the doctor had recommended. It was what his Master had recommended. Maybe sleep would help push all his dark thoughts and wild emotions out of his head. One just needed some time to rebuild his calm indifference. 

He would be the perfect tool for his Master once again. 

He had to be. 

For Three. 

__

One’s Master sent him on a job two days later. It didn’t feel unusual. It wasn’t. Except it was. One thought about going to retrieve Five’s device, but quickly shot the idea down. It wasn’t worth the risk. He had to cut all ties. It was imperative that he did. He should have destroyed the device. 

Unfortunately One’s mind didn’t want to cut all ties to his former life. Memories kept popping up at inconvenient times. Three’s smile blinded One during the termination. The target got a shot off. Luckily the man had no skill whatsoever with a gun. The shot clipped One’s arm. It barely hurt, but it did startle One back to the present. 

The job went somewhat smoothly after that. The target was down. The witnesses were taken out of the equation. Soon the scene was sterile and One left.

He didn’t go back right away. 

One stood in his assigned safe house and let his mind do something it shouldn’t do. Think. He thought about what might have happened if he had contacted Three. What they might have talked about. Maybe One would have asked who the mole really had been. Maybe he would have asked to go home. It didn’t matter though. It didn’t happen. Thinking about it. Dreaming about it was pointless. 

One went back to the barracks. Back to his Master. He lied when he said the new pain medication he had been prescribed made him dizzy. 

He had lied. 

Again. 

__

Each time One was sent out on a mission he would hesitate. Despite his best effort One couldn’t not think about what could be. He could go and retrieve the device. It would be easy too. He could go and destroy the device, it would be what his Master would want. If his Master knew about Three. If One hadn’t lied. 

One ignored it. He ignored the want. He ignored the fear. 

Fear had no place in his heart, yet somehow it was there causing erosion. Eating away at his will to obey and giving in to his will to rediscover what had been taken. 

As long as he ignored it he wouldn’t have to make a choice.

It was so much easier when One couldn’t feel anything. He missed the numbness and anger that had grounded him. Now it felt like his universe was crumbling and the only light was taken away when he had left Three behind in that hotel room. 

Three destroyed the illusion that his Master was the most important person in the galaxy. One hated him for that. The anger and bitterness had kept One from collapsing. It kept him from giving in to choice. It helped him ignore the truth. He wanted to call Three, but he was scared that making that choice would end up killing his friend. 

Three had given One something that he had all but forgotten. Hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't guarantee anything....because I have no internet and my inspiration comes and goes...Who knows? I might post the end of Chasing Shadows? I think the last chapter was mostly written. I'll try to find out. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed and, I'm not going to lie, getting notices about kudos and comments from people who enjoy what I write got me to read some of my old Dark Matter fics recently. 
> 
> So this chapter is dedicated to you guys! 
> 
> As I have not watched the majority of Season 2...if I continue to write it will be based off of Season 1. 
> 
> Thanks for dropping by!

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts on Season 2???? Will One survive? (Again, no spoilers...but I've been wondering if One is going to be with us all season long)
> 
> Also this is now a work in progress....so let see how that turns out!


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